Spell Check

Whatever we end up naming Nub, he's going to have the extra burden of dealing with people not being able to spell "Gewirtz." Even the carpet people couldn't get it right.

Final Preparations

Once of our last "nesting projects" was to put down some soft carpet in the extra room we created a few weeks back when we removed the old, rusty windows that used to separate our living room and sun room. For some reason, this last project just didn't come easy, perhaps a good primer for parenthood. First, there was the inordinately creepy and kinda-sweaty-for-a-salesman guy who came over to show us samples. Then, what was supposed to be a week-long process to custom fit our space turned into a month-long process. Then, when they finally called us to pick it up, the place was only open from 8:30 a.m to 4 p.m. weekday. But, they said, if I wanted to come by Saturday morning to pick it up, I could do that to. When will they be there? Between 5 and 7 a.m. So much for one last weekend of sleeping in.

And so, that's how I found myself in Anaheim this rainy morning in a huge carpet warehouse, ready to complete one of our last missions. As I was talking with the nice warehouse supervisor, it dawned on me what a great card this whole "first baby" thing is to play. I used to think the greatest scam Niki and I could pull off was to tell every hotel check-in person we saw that we were on our honeymoon, just to see what they'd do to upgrade us. (Haven't ever done it, but I'm just saying...) But now I think we should just tell people we're days away from having our first baby, even once Nub is a grown man, just to see what people will throw in to the deal. In this case, a casual conversation about how we were planning to use the carpet turned into a deal on a carpet pad and roll of duct tape to boot! Doing this on a regular basis years from now probably wouldn't be the best lesson to be teaching Nub I suppose, but in this case at least it was a true story. And even better, our last major home improvement is now complete.

Water Works

All of the books we reviewed and the classes we took warned Niki that toward the end of this experience, she might find herself crying for no apparent reason, a mix of emotions and hormones that seem inherent with the pregnancy process. And sure enough, there have been times where I've looked over and found her misty eyed over nothing at all, or in the case of an adorable episode at the Babies R Us, overcome with emotion at some of the stuff we were bringing home.

But one thing that hasn't helped has been our nightly routine the last two weeks watching the Winter Olympics from Vancouver. In addition to the inherent drama involved and the shots of proud parents all over the place, even the commercials are enough to start the water works. First it's all the promos for the show "Parenthood." Then "The Office" is previewing their "special baby event" on Thursday night where Pam and Jim deliver their child. (Me to Niki: "We're going to have our own special baby event, airing Tuesday night!")

But alas, it is this Proctor and Gamble commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo0ejBHp8UI) supporting all that moms do for their children, with the song "You'll Never Walk Alone," that has simply proved just too much. There's the mom singing to her baby that's just been born, or picking up her kid from school after he's been in a fight, or dragging her kid's hockey equipment to the car, or just holding her kid while she vacuums. I can't even keep myself from crying for crying out loud. If we can't deal with a couple of sappy commercials or TV promos, how in the world are we going to keep it together once Nub comes?

Bowling Anyone?

We've sometimes compared Nub's size to a bowling ball. And on one level, Niki has essentially, and admirably, been carrying around the equivalent of a 10-pound (12-pound?) bowling ball inside of her. So, this morning, I thought I'd get a sense of what it might possibly feel like by taking Niki's very own bowling ball out from the garage and carrying it around for a bit.

Let's just say I don't know how she's been doing it.

Thanks For Being Here!

Tonight I was reviewing a few worksheets that we got at classes we had taken weeks back, since it seems like it was so long ago now. And truth be told, I don't think either of us ever really reviewed any of the handouts we got after sitting through our first all-day class on childbirth. So imagine my surprise when I came across a section tonight on "Encouragement." These were recommended things that I can say while Niki is delivering Nub, presumably to encourage her. Here are some of things suggested in our worksheet: "Great job!" ... "Way to go!" ... "You're doing beautifully!" (and I swear it says this one...) "Thanks for being here!"

I'm trying to imagine how that would go exactly, when Niki is looking for all of my encouragement in her time of need, and I turn to her lovingly, stroke her hair and say, "Hey Niki, thanks for being here!" But, I suppose, without her presence, I'd probably feel pretty dumb muttering those other things in the delivery room without her.

Proud Parents-To-Be

Nub's not with us yet, but it feels like it could be any day now. Needless to say, we're getting pretty excited.

Hidden Cravings

By and large, Niki hasn't had too many food cravings. At least that she's shared with me. But every once in a while, I get some signs that there might be more than she's letting on. About a month ago, for instance, there suddenly appeared a box of Crunch N' Munch on our shelves, a product that I don't believe has ever been in our house before. "I thought it would be a good snack," Niki said. Apparently it wasn't.

But earlier this week, on a day Niki spent home from work because she wasn't feeling well, I got another glimpse of what she might really be craving. And it also came unexpectedly. We recently bought a clock/radio for Nub's room, but after Niki opened the box when she was home the other day, we realized the clock part was hard to read and we might want to return it. "I already put the box in the recycling bin," Niki said. No problem, I said, I'll see if I can just grab it out. Sure enough, there it was right on top. So, I grabbed it, only to make an alarming discovery. Underneath it, partially obscured by a newspaper, was an unmistakable can of SpaghettiO's, a product that I definitely would have remembered seeing in the house if it had been on my watch.

I went back inside and found Niki. "Um, Niki, is there something you want to tell me?" She wasn't sure what I was getting at. "I said, is there anything you'd like to tell me about?" Then, realizing where I had been and what I had seen, she fessed up. Yes, apparently SpaghettiO's has been a craving, or at least on that particular home-alone day. Can't say it would have been my first choice, but at least it wasn't pickles and SpaghettiO's.

Ready to Pop

Yesterday, just one day after we learned how big Nub has become, Niki got a call from her doctor summoning us to her office this morning to discuss the results. That's about as much information as we got, leading to a long night of wondering exactly what it was she wanted to discuss that required such urgent attention. When we got there this morning, we went to a room to wait for the doctor. A few moments later, one of her assistants came in to ask us who Nub's pediatrician will be. When she left, I turned to Niki. "That's an ominous sign I think. Do you think we're going to have a baby, like, later today to present to the pediatrician?" 

Well, not so fast. But not so far either. The bottom line: Niki is not going to make it to our March 9 due date. Because if she did, it's conceivable that Nub would be so big by then that he'd be able to just skip the whole milk, crawling and early development phase and just sit down for a burger, tell us how his day went and could he have the car keys, please?

And so, if Nub is not ready to join us by March 2, it appears that's the day the doctor would like to bring him into the world. That leaves us about 10 days or so to make our final preparations. Unless, of course, Nub has other plans for us. And as you can see above, it seems like he could very well be with us just about any minute.

Super Nub

Niki had what should be her final ultrasound this morning, and, as has been the case now for weeks, it only took the technician about three seconds of exploring to declare: "You're having a big baby." How big? Granted, they told us that their measurements could be off by as much as 15 percent, but according to their first measurement, Nub was an incredible 9 pounds, 14 ounces. After a second review, they downgraded him to a mere 9 pounds, 9 ounces. That would put Nub in the 98th percentile. Put another way, while Niki was looking at the screen in the room, she noticed one line that had the date February 19. She asked what that indicated. And what that indicated was that regardless of our due date of March 9 (three weeks from today), Nub will be considered a full-term baby by Friday. As in Friday three days from now. We looked at each other and laughed on our way out of the building and then had a very quiet ride to work...

More Suggestions

Our nephew Benjamin early on suggested that Nub's real name be Forest Fire. And he has stuck to that suggestion pretty hard. But this weekend, he softened his stance a little bit, offering us an alternative: Donkey Forest Fire. Sorry, Donkey Forest Fire Gewirtz. Meanwhile, our niece Julia apparently had a suggestion of her own: Laughy. While these are both intriguing suggestions, I'm not sure that either will be making our short list. Unless, of course, we get a look at him once he's born and he's either all smiles or all ears. Then we'll just have to see.

Stocking Up

As time gets closer and closer, we are finding ourselves stocking up on things we think we'll be needing right off the bat. One of our baby books says you should start with 600 or so diapers on hand just to be comfortable. Oh boy. We've gotten a box here and there as gifts so far, which has been great, but we made a diaper run yesterday just to ensure we'll have enough to start. Niki, who works around issues of incontinence on an alarmingly regular basis for work, actually seemed like a pro in assessing the various products we needed, even if juvenile incontinence isn't exactly her thing. Now we have to hope we'll be reasonably good at using all the stuff we've bought.

One Month to Go (?)

We passed the one-month-to-go mark earlier this week, and as several friends have told us, ol' Nub could choose to arrive just about any day from here on in. That means less than a month of things that soon will be hard to remember ever existed, we imagine. Unless, of course, this is the baby that lets us sleep in 'til 10 each morning, can watch himself while we go out for a nice dinner, chooses to be extra-special-quiet at night, is vehemently opposed to vomiting, pooping, cheesing...

Taking a Seat

As the days get closer to Nub's arrival, we find ourselves wanting to be even more prepared just in case he decides to visit us sooner than we anticipate. So, this weekend we decided to try installing our car seat so we have one less thing to worry about come the Big Day. We managed to get the base in pretty easily, but the instructions for the rest were rather daunting.

Still, it wasn't long until we began to get the gist of how this thing is supposed to work. Niki took out the poor Cabbage Patch doll that has been a glutton for punishment during this whole pregnancy. This is the poor doll that has been the victim of our diaper-changing experiments in class, been swaddled too loose or tight and been thrown around as we try to get her in the proper feeding position. Today, it had to take the brunt of being practice Nub once again. Niki actually did a great job getting Nub's body double in and out of the seat with ease.

But eventually, we brought the seat inside to adjust straps and such, and I gave it a whirl. Let's just say my technique wasn't the best. As long as child protective services doesn't come over to ask how this doll got all these welts around her shoulder and back, I should be OK. And with a few hundred more tries, hopefully Nub will be OK too.

Sign of the Times

One of the first movies Niki and I saw together, strangely enough, was "Boogie Nights." Now, it appears, we're in the market for items like "Boogie Wipes."